DIY personal bidet

Various types of bidet and, um, how not to use them. (1, 2)

If you’ve gone the “water way,” you know there’s absolutely no turning back. Toilet papers are for those who walk around with sticky dried up stains down their back. Nothing feels as fresh as using water to cleanse yourself. Especially when number two beckons, if you know what I mean.

I admit, this one is rudimentary at best. But it serves its purpose well enough.

This came about as I was stuck at a workshop in some hotel for a whole day, and was forced to improvise. Luckily they have bountiful supply of bottled water.

So all you need is bottled water, and a pen.

1. Steal Acquire bottled water. Usually at conferences, they provide smaller bottles (250ml~) which you can easily smuggle into the toilet without arousing suspicion.

2. Use pen to poke a hole in the bottle cap. As the ball-point may be damaged in the process, use the complimentary pen provided by the conference organizer instead of that $30 Sheaffer or $300 Mont Blanc.

And instead of doing this in full view of  everyone, a more discreet way would be by removing the bottle cap first, place it on the table, and poke away. It’s always wiser to avoid awkward stares in doing these things. So do so only if you are seated at the back, or do the whole “project” in the washroom cubicle itself.

3. Test it! Poke more holes if you want, at the expense of water pressure.

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